The Horror Formula

Okay before we move on, let me establish that the characters of horror movies are (usually) complete idiots who have never seen a horror movie in their life. They lack common sense and are extremely clumsy for some reason ("slips & accidentally impales self" kind of clumsy).

Wanna be a horror filmmaker someday? Here are some really original horror movie plot lines you could try!

Haunted house/object

Possible titles:

a.) The Haunting of [place]:
The Haunting of the 5th House on the Right
b.) The [Cursed Object]: 
The MagicBall
c.) [Name of Youngest child in creepy typeface]: 

It starts with a prologue of people dying and it is implied that it was due to the cursed house/thing. Cut to the present, a family moves in an obviously creepy house or would come into possession an obviously creepy object. The family is composed of:

• The hardworking daddy (Possible main character)
• The caring but oblivious mommy
• Older skeptical sibling (Possible main character)
• Younger sibling that has invisible friends apparently

Then subtle weird shit start to happen. Instead of doing what a sane person would do, which is, goddamn leave the house or get rid of the cursed object (kill it with fire), the family just continues their daily lives. The youngest child will start to claim he/she has "friends" in the house, and would occasionally draw them.

When the weird shit gets scarily weird, that's when the family decides to hightail outta the house or rid themselves of the cursed object, but the house/object won't let them. Then, the angry spirits of the house kidnap/possess one of their children or the object traps the soul of one of their kids. They seek out paranormal experts that are probably no help at all. They manage to save their kid, for some reason and they finally move out the house/get rid of the object. Things are seemingly okay then the last scene shows that #nope things are not okay (spirits are still in the house/the object was not destroyed), which sets up the probably more successful or shittier sequel.

Alternate Ending: The whole Family dies.

Deadly oversized animals

Possible titles:

Titanoboa (Snake)

Lake Tranquil (Crocodile)

Deadly Waters (Piranha)

Sharkoon (Shark + Typhoon)

The Meadows (Cow)

or it could be something obvious like: Attack of the [animal]

Somewhere in a seemingly safe getaway place, there is a monumentally large:

a.) Snake

b.) Crocodile

c.) Piranha

d.) Shark

e.) Cow (just a suggestion)

that is eating people. 

A group of friends; Main character, his/her boyfriend/love interest, Cool Couple, Wholesome Couple, Promiscuous Couple, Forever alone funny guy and the friend who suggested the outing, go on a road trip (or fly to somewhere not America). 

Once they reach the place, they set up camp and do their thing: like swimming or have sex on the water. Promiscuous couple have rough sex in an isolated area and they are killed by the animal. Wholesome girl finds out wholesome boy is secretly dating the Cool girl and they argue, leading to wholesome girl leaving. 

Night falls and the rest of the group realise they're missing people so they set off to find them. They stumble upon uneaten body parts or clothing of Promiscuous couple, and realise they are in deep shit. Wholesome boy gets ridden with guilt and convinces group to find his partner, and when they do she is seriously injured that first aid can't fix it. They return to camp to patch her up but she dies anyway, not before a dramatic romantic exchange between her and wholesome guy. 

They set up their escape by using wholesome girl's corpse as bait (talk about disrespectful for the dead) but the oversized animal proves too smart for them, and either forever alone funny guy or the person who suggested the outing dies and their means of escape is damaged or destroyed, but they still manage to escape it anyway. They eventually meet buff hunter man who helps them.

The succeeding scenes are just them and their futile attempts of escaping while the animal kills them off one by one, until only hunter man, main character, and his/her love interest are remaining.

Endings:

Cliche happy ending: Hunter man sacrifices himself so that the main couple can escape. The animal is killed but it is revealed that it has babies. *ohhh sequel*

Pussy ending: Hunter kills animal and all three escape

Lone survivor: Hunter man dies in a futile attempt to stall the animal, and eventually love interest sacrifices him/herself so that main character can escape, the animal is last seen retreating to its habitat (obviously giddy for the sequel)

Everyone dies because they can: Everything that happens in Lone Survivor ending, except that while the main character has seemingly escaped, the rescue party is attacked then the credits roll

Ritual

Possible titles:
[Name of entity being summoned]
[Name of summoning process]

A group of dumb teenagers try to do a supernatural ritual they read on the internet, and they initially think it's stupid and nothing will happen. And at first, nothing does happen… then the thing they unwittingly summoned kills them off one by one, or has managed to be "real" by possessing one of the friends, THEN kills them off one by one.

The ending is either the malevolent being wins, or the main character manages to dispel the spirit from our realm.

Serial Killer/Slasher

Possible titles:
a.) Catchy name of serial killer:
Horsehead Killer
b.) A Holiday or event associated with said holiday
Black Friday Sale

Prologue: A kid gets bullied/a deformed kid is mocked/ whatever sad backstory a serial killer has to motivate him (usually it's a "he") to live a life of hacking people's faces and may or may not have some connection to the main character. The serial killer will have a signature weapon and an iconic mask (that hides an ugly deformed face which the audience will only see after the 6th sequel).

Horsehead killer, he'll stab you with
a knife made out of corn.

We are introduced to a group of teenagers: The Virgin, The Jock, The Nice Guy, The Whore, and The Joker + Other expendable friends. They either go to a party or have an outing or some shit. 

What essentially happens next is a montage of the dumb kids being killed off in a brutal fashion, starting with the funny guy who they never notice is gone (it's that scene where they hear unusual noises and instead of calling the police, someone decides to investigate it). Then other expendable characters are killed and while tension is rising, the group still dismisses the fact that a serial killer is out to get them. The Whore and the Jock have sex and the whore gets killed when the serial killer disrupts their sexytime. The three of them regroup and arm themselves to fight back. The Jock is either killed by his terrible "clumsiness" by impaling himself with whatever weapon he's holding or the killer exploits his stupidity and kills him. The Nice Guy and The Virgin decide to escape or outsmart the serial killer.

Endings:

Cliche Happy Ending: They manage to "kill" the serial killer and escape to safety. The policemen that investigate the scene (usually 2) are promptly killed by the apparently not dead killer then evades the other police & escapes, setting the premise for the sequel.

Lone Survivor: Everything that happens on Cliche Ending but it's not happy because Nice Guy dies. They do both profess their love for each other before that though, who probably only developed those feelings thanks to the "bonding" they had while being chased by a madman.

Everyone Dies: Yeah, simply that. After the slaughter, the killer dramatically walks away from the camera before turning for one last look at the audience, smiling menacingly. Fades to black. Dun dun.

[Possible] Plot twist: One of the main characters is actually the serial killer.

This plotline can span into multiple sequels (that will make no sense as the number drags on), a prequel of the prequel and reboots. PROFIT!

Vengeful Ghost

Possible Titles:

Anything related to religion:

-Piety

-In the Name of the Father

-[A Latin Word used in religion]

-Communion wafers

Same thing that happens on Serial Killer, only that you're dealing with a really bitchy ghost. Also the ghost is more likely connected to the main character or someone related to him/her (who did something terrible and is in need of atonement), otherwise the ghost is just really bitchy (and the main character is just very unlucky). The eerie goes-downstairs-with-all-four-limbs-that-are-disturbingly-contorted scene is a must.

Additional Character: The Priest

[It is advised that you cast an attractive man to act this character]
A man of faith that tries his best to help the teenagers/family expel the malevolent spirit with his favorite equipped items: The Bible, Holy Water and the Crucifix. Most likely killed after performing an exorcism, right after the ghost taunts him about his Faith. WHERE IS YOUR GOD NOW??!!!!1

Zombie

Possible titles:
a.) {The} [time of day] of the [synonym to zombie]:
The Afternoon of the Walking Corpses
b.) Something post apocalyptic-ish:
The Last Twinkie

Prologue: Some idiot scientist develops a serum intended to "reanimate the dead/ increase immunity & strength of injected subjects but shuts down other brain processes/ cure Cancer or whatever" for various reasons such as reuniting with deceased love ones or for bio-weapons. Hell breaks loose when an accident happens. None of the scientists were turned, and they manage to quarantine their human test subjects but the infection spreads through the escaped lab rats. Soon after, humanity collapses and the world turns into a post apocalyptic wasteland. The surviving humans try to survive (and maybe find a cure for the hell of it).

Apocalypse team!

The main character (usually male)

Most likely a college student, an average joe who has trouble getting laid and has severe anxiety issues. His usefulness ranges from slightly useful to completely useless but mans up by the end of the movie.

The love interest

Either they rescue her somewhere or is the daughter of (one of the) Tanks, and main character has the hots for her the first time he sees her. Moderately pretty, but the slut still outshines her when it came to looks.

The tank (there can be more than one)

The tough, buff dude with a sexy stubble that is good with making things explode and has great survival instincts. Has a bigger chance of dying through sacrifice than being bested by zombies.

The techie

The nerd good with the technical stuff like starting a car, creating makeshift weapons and such, hacking through a lab's security and the like. Weak and fragile, the team will try their best to protect him at all costs (but will die anyway).

The joker

The life of the party, but unfortunately has the tendency to be one of the first to be killed off despite having a slight proficiency in using weapons. Also known as forever alone guy.

The slut

The whiny fan service girl who does nothing but be a burden, and no one wants to get rid of her because she's hot. Will be killed the moment she lets her vagina do the thinking (aka has sex with someone).

The asshole

The selfish, egotistic bastard that is actually pretty capable of using guns/defense, thus they can't get rid of him too. Will be killed the moment character development happens (aka he stops being an ass).

The Fat Man

He's there to remind you that you need to work on your cardio in case the apocalypse happens, otherwise you'll end up like him: dead on the first 20min of the film. On the plus side, zombies will take awhile to consume him so the team can make an escape.

The Dog

The character the audience roots for. Extremely useful for detecting zombies or scouting, but its barks can attract the undead if unchecked. If it is killed off, it is automatically a terrible zombie movie.

The whole movie is basically about how the group tries to survive while trying to reach a "safezone" they hear on broadcasts. Most of the team members don't really make it to the end due to the team's lack of common sense as situations unfold or the apparent ineptitude of the main character causes them to save his ass frequently (because he is that important) leading them to be more exposed to danger. The ending is usually 2-3 survivors arriving at the safezone, where they might learn the horrors of how the infection started (if there's a sequel).

Bread Uprising

Pieces of baked flour are tired of being toasted and served with bacon and eggs in the morning that they begin terrorizing humanity. Croissants decapitate people, French bread impale frantic citizens and loaves of white bread hurl themselves on black men because racism. It ends with no human survivors and bread continue to live in peace with the remaining fauna on Earth, effectively ending Global Warming.

By the way, did you know Night of the Living Bread exists.

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Of course, we're not going for any hardcore realism here because it's... a horror movie. The purpose of a horror movie is to make the audience frightened after all (cheap jumpscares and really good sfx will suffice, don't even bother with the story...yeah)-- while furiously ranting about how stupid the characters are.

"No, NO DON'T GO THERE WAHT THE FUCK are yuo STUPID THE KILLER IS aaahhHHHHH SHIT SEE, SEEEE YOU GOT STABBED ON THE FACE"

Of course, even if the movie managed to terrify you, it doesn't always mean that it is a good horror movie (or a good movie for that matter).